I normally am not very good at reflecting, but as I breathe
the warm autumn air today, I feel a special grace for it. It has been that in the last couple of years, I have felt discouraged in the days leading up to my birthday. I’m not sure why – maybe it’s because the
devil hates me and the idea of celebrating life. But anyway, turning 30 was especially easy for it because that was a milestone year.
It was easy to think about how my life didn’t measure up to what it
“should” look like. I was certain that
by then, I would be raising my family overseas while doing ministry on the mission field, having
already run my first marathon. The discouragement didn't last long, but none of that was the case.
But this year is different. This morning, I reflected with
the Lord on what life was like at 21.
10 years ago tonight, I had what I thought was the birthday party of my
life. I did foolish things, and my heart
was far from Jesus. At 21, I was incredibly
selfish, and you would have been fair to say, “she will never change.” But these ten years tell a story of God’s
loving faithfulness despite my unfaithfulness (2 Tim 2:13). And they tell of His merciful invitation to be a part of His plan to save this generation. Much like the Starbucks story (coming soon),
it’s all about Him, and I am of no credit.
So in the face of this expected discouragement, I am reminded that
when I once seemed nonredeemable, the Great Redeemer saved me. He set me free and He continues to set me free of sin, and my own pride and my selfishness. Jesus is the Bridegroom in an unstoppable
pursuit of His Bride, the Church. So
while life may look differently from what I expected a year ago, this birthday I have a fresh resolve
to live for my King:
Here
is my life, have your way. I trust You, because
You have done far more abundantly than I could ask
or imagine, or plan (Eph 3:20).
